“Stonehengers?”
“Incisors ruled Europe for a while,”
Elys said, as though summarizing a greater tale, “They weren’t able to keep Europe
in the dark ages though, because the Stonehengers ran them out.”
“This all sounds like a stupid
history channel conspiracy theory,” Dave said, “Like old grampy was dragging
too hard on the starpipe and started saying that Stonehenge ruled Europe.”
“Not Stonehenge,” Elys corrected, “Stonehengers.”
“Oh thanks,” Dave said, “That makes
a world of difference. I’m completely fine with everything. Except for the fact
I murdered someone I used to hang out with at the behest of magic witch
vampires who tried to keep Europe in the dark ages.”
“Listen,” Elys said, “Just shut up
for a fuckin’ second. Find this house, which is probably run down and
condemned, hide inside, and wait for me. I’ll come round tomorrow sometime. To
tell you that the cops don’t care anymore. And then we’ll get back and life
will be normal again. And I’ll help you get the incisors out of your way.”
“The Crown,” Dave said, “Help me
with the Crown.”
“Maybe why do you care so goddamn much
about the Crown?” Elys asked.
“I just feel like if I somehow get
it, I’ll be able to make everything right,” Dave said.
“Make everything right?” Elys asked.
“Yeah,” Dave said, “I’ll make
everything right. I just have this really intense urge, ok?”
“You could maybe do a better job
explaining if you didn’t say the same shit twice,” Elys said, “But me saying,
‘oh yes, I’ll get you this stupid waxy Crown’ then, oh yes, I’ll get you your
stupid waxy Crown.”
“Good,” Dave said, “I can deal with
the incisors later. Once I have the Crown I bet it’ll be easy. Bira said the
Crown was… Well, I think she downplayed it.”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing,” Dave said, “I’m going to
find this house, and pray there’s a shower and a spare change of clothes
waiting for me inside. A bed would be nice too. Also, no werewolf girls.”
“I wasn’t being literal when I said
they were all of the stupid myths at once,” Elys said, “They just made up the
myths to keep people afraid. They’re closer to cannibals that can read your mind.
And they’re all female.”
“How did I somehow know that
already?” Dave asked, “I felt like that was going to be the deal.”
“I don’t know,” Elys said, “Weren’t
you going to maybe find the house already?”
Dave turned, looked into the woods.
He tried to see if there were any eyes staring back at him. Jaws full of sharp
teeth. Witches or whatever. He didn’t see anything. It didn’t really do much to
make him less afraid.
The absence of anything made him
more afraid, actually. In the night, his hands looked black instead of red. The
blood was mostly dry by then.
Elys was gone, suddenly. Dave had
been looking for Sharpdusks and Biras and had failed to notice Elys depart.
That was ok by Dave. He had the forest to himself now.
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