Dani
awoke at eight in the morning and couldn’t fall back asleep, so at eight thirty
she rose, showered, dressed, and decided to finally go downstairs and ask about
breakfast.
Will was seated at the table, eating
from a bowl of cereal. “You know what there is for breakfast?” Dani asked.
Will pointed at the box of cereal and gave
her a look. That’s it, his expression implied, That’s breakfast.
“But we have pancake mix” Dani asked,
“I could make pancakes and we could eat them and everything would be beautiful
forever.”
He shook his head.
“But pancakes are going to make you
super big and strong and not afraid of evil.”
“Cool,” he said.
“It was a lie,” Dani said, “Pancakes
make you fat. But so do sugary cereals, you pig. Is that your fifth bowl?”
“It’s my seventeenth, to celebrate
my seventeen years of life,” Will said, “You can just go ahead and leave me
alone.”
“It’s not your birthday today,” Dani
said, “Also, pass me that shit. I’ve got a hunger with, like, a wicked
reckoning.”
“No,” he said, extending a careful
hand to push the box of cereal across the table towards her.
“Thanks dude,” she said. She placed emphasis on the word dude to show she
was being insincere about calling him dude.
“No prob, Bob,” he said in reply.
“You couldn’t have gotten me a bowl?”
Dani asked, walking to the cabinet. “You are such an incredibly awful person. I
can’t believe someone hasn’t murdered you over your unpleasantness.”
He sneered at her. “Hey, just, by the way. Have I ever told you that
you are literally the ugliest living thing I have ever seen?”
“Your vicious barbs fall short,”
Dani said, “I’m a butterfly and there is literally nothing you can say that
will make me believe differently.”
“You’re so stupid,” he said, “But
hey, wanna get breakfast somewhere?”
“That’s a good idea,” Dani said, “Where
were you thinking?”
“Something that is fast food-ish,”
he said, “I want to be so fat that
when judgment day comes I can just overwhelm them with my corpulent power.”
“There is no such thing as, like,
corpulent power,” Dani said.
“But seriously you wanna grab a
hamburger or what?”
“Yeah that sounds pretty good,” she
said. She didn’t bother pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She grabbed a glass instead
and filled it with milk while Will finished his. “What are your plans for
today?”
“I don’t know I was thinking of
getting fast food at some awful place where the food is so greasy with my equally greasy sister,” he said, “But I think she
already knows about that.”
“I meant other than getting tubby on
tubs of tubby…”
“You can’t be going anywhere cool
with that joke just stop already.”
“I meant other than getting fast
food, what are you doing other than that?”
“Moping around,” he said.
“At least you’re, like, being
honest,” she said.
“I try.”
“You wanna do something cooler than
mope around? Like, go into an infinite tunnel with me today?”
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