“What’s
the point? If it’s infinite we’ll never get to the end,” he said. He took his
bowl over to the sink and began to rinse it.
“That’s really unusually ambitious
of you,” Dani said, “But whatever, think whatever you wanna think. I don’t
care. It’s a long dark tunnel in the woods behind Mary Clamor’s house. And it’s
longer on the inside than the outside. Like Dr. Who. Come on you know the
drill. It’s not actually infinite.”
“No, this sounds more like some lame
House of Leaves shit,” he said, “Was there a great big roaring noise while you
were in there? Run into any drug addicts? Or minotaur? Imagine I said it, but
it was crossed out.”
“Yeah, we found a few fuh-tairs,”
Dani said, “And by a few I mean none at all. No. There weren’t any doorways or
stairways or, like, postmodernism. It was just a straight shot. And there was a
clicking noise that scared the ever living Jesus’ Ghost out of us.”
“Who? Us?”
“Mary and me.” Dani said.
“Mary and I?”
“I’m not sure if grammar is really
the important thing here,” Dani said, “Also this is getting annoying can we
stop being silly siblings and get to the point where you say, no I can’t come
into that really neat infinite tunnel because I have to go drop a rock on my
head through a heroism portal?”
“I can’t come into that really neat
infinite tunnel ‘cause I have to go take a shit on my head through a heroism
portal.”
“I mostly just wanted to hear you
say that, like in your voice, rather than just in my head. It’s a pretty common
statement that I imagine you say all of the time but I’ve never heard it until
now,” Dani said, “Thanks for that, I feel enlightened. Like a Buddhist monk who
just said, man, all of this light feels good. I mean you even adlibbed the last
part and remixed it. You are the greatest brother.”
“I thought you said we could stop
being silly siblings,” Will said.
“Ok but seriously, you wanna come
explore it with me and maybe Mary or someone?”
“Let me know if you do,” he said,
“So I can say no again. When are you planning on going?”
“I want to go before the sun sets,”
she said, “Because hopefully it will be easier to find our way out with, like,
a brighter end of the tunnel in sight.”
“How long did it take you before?”
“Like, hows about a halfs an hour?”
“A halfs an hour?”
“Thirty minutes is what I meant when
I said that,” Dani said, “I plan on bringing flashlights and some kind of,
like, tape measure. Mom said I should anyway, so this is one of those rare
occasions where you can do what Mom tells you to do and still do something,
like, cool.”
“I do that a lot,” Will said, “You
never notice.”
“Like when?”
“You remember that time when you
failed to notice I did something really cool? And by that time I meant my entire life.”
“Agh you’re really not in a good
place today are you? That was the lamest comeback you’ve ever, like, spatula’d
my way, you fry cook, you.”
“You say I suck at comebacks and you
call me a fry cook? That doesn’t make sense, Dani.”
“Yeah, like, whatever,” she said,
“You’re clearly actually in a mopey mood today so I’ll just let you mope.”
“Thank god,” he said, “And by god, I
mean Ephemeral Being so don’t get on
me about god not being called god or whatever.”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” Dani
said, “But hey thanks for filling in, you always do a good job of doing what I was
going to do. Except for when you don’t, which is all of the time.”
“Except for just now,” he said.
“Yeah ok, you got me, like, you did
it this time. How about not being awful in all of your classes,” Dani said.
“I just don’t care about school
anymore, ok?”
“We’ve been over this,” Dani said,
“I don’t think anything I say to you is going to change your mind.”
“It won’t,” he said.
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